This is the sixteenth in our series of emails called “How I Monk.” In this series we will be highlighting + celebrating members of the Monk Manual community as they’ve meaningfully applied our tools and resources to find peaceful being and purposeful doing in their everyday lives. If you’d like to be featured in a future “How I Monk,” share your information with us here… #HowIMonk
Name: Tiffany Chu
Occupation: Author
Location: California, USA
Website/Social: https://tiffanychu.substack.com/about
A bit about who you are and how you spend your days:
I am Taiwanese-American, a wife, and mother to a six-year-old adopted son, an eight-month-old biological daughter. Our oldest adopted son passed away in 2021 at 18 years old, and I’ve spent the last few years editing and publishing his writings in his honor.
Besides my family, my passion is writing. I’ve been writing fiction and creative nonfiction almost my entire life, but I didn’t consider it as a career path until recently. After my son’s death, I compiled and published his writing into two books: one was an autobiographical collection of essays, and the other was a short story anthology we wrote together. It was a healing process for me and a lifeline.
Nowadays, I run a Substack publication where I write personal essays about grief, literature, and society, and am cultivating a thriving community of like-minded individuals there. I’m also working on my debut fantasy novel. Definitely a lot going on!
What originally drew you to the Monk Manual?
Last year I started a part-time job at a non-profit, and my now-bloated schedule led me to Monk Manual. I needed a system to help me get a more realistic view of the time I actually had, and to prioritize what is most important to me. I’ve tried so many planners over the years. I’m a little bit obsessed with productivity and having structured days, so you can imagine how 2020, grief, and now having a baby who won’t follow a schedule, has thrown my whole life into chaos. With that, I found my way to Monk Manual and was enticed by the principle behind it: not getting more done, but cultivating a meaningful life. I thought to myself, “Well what’s one more planner?” I got one to try it out, and without any exaggeration, it changed my life.
Do you have a favorite prompt or section?
I love the “I was at my best when” section because I can get discouraged when I don’t live up to my own expectations. Having this prompt to reflect on has helped me treat myself with more gentleness. 
Practical Monk Manual Tip:
I don’t use the schedule section to create a schedule ahead of time. The unpredictability of my daily life has taught me that doing so only leaves me discouraged when I inevitably wander from what I had planned. Instead, I use it to write what I actually did during those hours. This has actually been a game-changer, in that I now have a visual for how much time things really take (which is always more than I anticipate). That, in turn, gives me a much more realistic idea of how much time I have, how limited it is, and has freed me from getting stuck on lower priority things I used to obsess over. Yes, Wednesday is laundry day, but can I realistically do the laundry, fold, and put away all the clothes for a family of four, and feed everyone, drop off and pick up my kindergartner, and take him to his sports practice…while still having time to work and write during godly hours? Unlikely. So in that particular instance, I’ve spread the task out over a couple days instead of expecting and failing to get everything done in one day.
When you were first getting started, what part of the Monk Manual did you struggle with most?
I still have trouble thinking of an answer for “One change I can make tomorrow.” A big change? A small change? At the moment I’m trying out just focusing on one small, concrete change, like, “I will finish my water bottle tomorrow” rather than something abstract like, “I’m going to be more patient.” I’ve moved those types of answers to “Ways I can give,” and so far it’s been working better for me.
How has your life changed since using the Monk Manual?
Since I started to use it regularly at the end of 2023, I've learned to let go of a LOT of little things that I used to get very caught up on doing. I'm actually able to focus more on what's most important, especially my family, and writing and publishing. By writing down those things daily, I call them to mind much more easily. I feel freer to say no to things that don't align with those priorities rather than trying desperately to fit everything in. As a result, my family life is fuller and closer, and I've been able to devote more time to writing and revising. While I'm still tweaking to balance my life better, I'm on a good trajectory. I also love the focus on “being.”
If you’d like to be featured in a future “How I Monk,” share your information with us here.
